Unison Parenting Blog: Tips for Discussing Mental Health with Your Child

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In this second of my two-part blog series on your child's mental health, I again turn to Dr. Leslee Marcum of the Pathlight Mood and Anxiety Center for how you can approach your child to discuss mental health concerns.

1. Prepare with your parenting partner. Role-play the conversation. Besides giving you practice, it allows you to synchronize with your parenting partner(s) on the situation and how it should be addressed. This is a crucial conversation to have, as parenting partners must be united, even if only one parent is approaching the child.

2. Be open and direct. Bring up what you have observed. Ask open-ended questions and ask for an honest response. For example: “I’ve noticed you’ve been hanging out in your room more, and you seem sad lately. I was wondering if something was going on and if you wanted to talk about it. It is normal to have emotions that feel out of control at times, and I am here to support you.”

3. Expect pushback. Resistance or denial is typical. Back in step 1, prepare for this so you can control your emotions.

4. Normalize therapy. Steps 4, 5, and 6 are used if you perceive a need for therapy. Like most of us, kids and teens don't want to think anything is wrong with them. Assure them stress and emotions are a part of life, and therapy is a brave but necessary step sometimes.

5. Share your experience. If you have personally undergone therapy, assure your child how therapy becomes easier as you and your therapist get to know each other.

6. Encourage vulnerability. Being honest with your therapist is vital, though challenging. To make progress will require vulnerability, even if it takes some time to open up.

7. End on a positive note. Reaffirm your love and care for your child and how you want what is best for them.

I want to finish by saying that mental health care has been essential in our family. Still, one child was resistant to therapy. Forcing them into therapy at that point would not have been productive. However, in lifesaving situations, the person may not have a choice any longer.