A friend and I were discussing one of the trickiest parts of parenting: how to respond to various kinds of disobedience. Parents can fall into a trap of customizing their rules and behavior modification for every different circumstance. When the child does THIS, they counter with THAT, for every new behavior. But this can lead to a Cat-and-Mouse Game. This parenting sets up a contest or puzzle for the child: How can the child get what they want? How can they find a loophole i

When I was raising my kids, I read (and applied) a study showing the number one predictor of academic performance was whether a father asked at dinner about a child’s day at school. Let’s unpack the assumptions in that statement. First, it assumes the family eats dinner together. Families are typically on the run after school lets out. A parent’s job may get in the way of sitting down together for the evening meal, or kids’ extracurricular activities may interfere with dinner

A mistake I made with my first child was to start by assuming that non-compliance to instructions was a battle of wills. I handled them that way while a preschooler and often took that attitude as they aged into new stages. Certainly that one could be a rebel (see next week's free Unison Parenting newsletter for more on rebellious children; sign up at UnisonFamily.com ). But that wasn't always the reason for their lack of obedience. The problem for kids of all ages, including

In my prior post on bullies, I mentioned my own sixth grade experience of being bullied. So, I feel a lot of sympathy for bullied children. I'm going to whisk through a framework for parents of bullied children, then develop a few points further in future blogs. Here is a four-part strategy if your kid is bullied: Detection and Support Strategies Escalation Find Friends In part 1, build open lines of communication in advance so your child knows they can bring their problems t

Yep, bullying still exists. Despite anti-bullying programs, the age-old torment of fellow classmates or teammates goes on. I’ll spend this post and my next on bullying. Here, I ask, what if your kid is one of the bullies? According to StopBullying.gov , there are four factors in bullying. First, it could be the school's culture. The school's leadership may be weak in addressing bullying, look the other way, or deny anything is happening on their watch. I was the new kid in to

I heard one of my favorite football coaches say this week that you get what you emphasize to your team. The same is true for parenting. A good example is the kind of questions you ask your child when they get home from school. One father took a more direct approach than "How was school?" He started asking his 12-year-old son, "Who did you help today?" As a result, the son now starts his daily description with "I held the door,", or "I helped a friend with math," or "I asked s

Parents must strike the right balance between overemphasizing and underemphasizing a child's emotional needs. In my last blog , I showed how parents can veer toward Permissive Parenting when they only focus on love, kindness, and feelings without discipline. On the other extreme are parents who neglect or do not properly address a child's emotional needs. Typically, we see this behavior with the other two negative parenting styles, Dominant Parenting and Neglectful Parenting.

I've been seeing several comments or scenarios lately that indicate the touchy-feely approach to parenting is still going strong. For example: A mom saying she's "in tune" with her three-year-old son. Another mom saying, "Kindness is the only thing that matters in parenting." A dad suggesting, "If you shower your kids with love, they'll be well-behaved." In Unison Parenting terms, these statements all trend toward an unproductive style called Permissive Parenting. Touchy-feel

Chip Waggoner serves as traffic reporter on the Fox 4 Good Day morning show in Dallas-Ft. Worth. He is articulate and fairly athletic. Meanwhile, his son Benjamin was born with unique physical challenges that impact the lower half of his body. Chip’s book, "MIP: Miracle in Progress" tells about his family's faith journey in raising Benjamin. A persistent theme in the book is, "What is normal?" Doctors advised the Waggoners that Benjamin's normal would be different than theirs

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