Unison Parenting Blog: Catch Kids Doing Something Right

We all know human nature and how people enjoy being praised. Yet, too often, we still withhold praise from our children.

We also don't want to overpraise to the point it doesn't sound sincere anymore.

As a parent, I felt like I really threaded the praise needle when I would catch my children doing something right and praise them. Sometimes they didn't realize they were doing something right or special until I called it out. Delicious were the moments when children could receive praise without seeking it, even if they were a little confused by it at the time.

Catching kids doing something right means being observant. Perhaps they have done a chore exceptionally well or took on an unassigned task without prompting. Maybe they're in a new situation and respond well. Perhaps it's simply them exhibiting the Fruits of the Spirit such as kindness. I can recall pointing out when I thought they were being a good friend to someone who needed that friend.

One episode stands out from when my eldest son was in high school and participating in a retreat. It was time to load the buses with luggage before the trip home. The assigned leader was nowhere to be found; helpers were just standing around, but the clock was ticking. My son took it upon himself to reach for the lowest job, placing himself in the hot, sweaty storage area under the bus, calling for others to hand him luggage. Most of the kids did the minimum and left, but he stuck with it until every item was accounted for. (I had my own duties and was in and out on the scene but kept an eye on the action.)

It was a sweltering day. He emerged from the storage area completely covered in sweat. I praised him; he just thought he was doing his job. But I told him he was a hero on that day. It encouraged him when no one else, including the absent leader, thanked him.

Catch kids doing something right. It makes a huge difference.