Unison Parenting Blog: What's for Dinner?

As parents read my book Unison Parenting, they comment on how important it is to get on and stay on the same page. However, they need to go beyond principles, philosophy, and framework to agreeing on day-to-day topics, like what to eat.

Yes, how to address a child's physical needs, including our food choices, can be a parental war zone. We adults may have our own preferred foods, some of which are not appropriate or healthy for our children. Parents may also follow their own diets, which are great for adults but not necessarily as beneficial for kids. You have to factor in a child's allergies as well.

Perhaps the biggest issue is guilty pleasure. I love my desserts, especially ice cream. But as our kids were growing up, we parents, of course, had to ration sugar to foster good eating and dental habits.

Another issue is the value of food in our lives. One parent may favor the overall rich, emotional health experience that tasty food and drink brings to a family. Another parent might be focused on the child's physical development. Often, busy families just want to open a can, get some food on the table, and know that the kids are fed. (Guilty!)

I can't tell you exactly what's right for your family, but here are a few guiding points for parents to get in unison regarding food:

• Communicate openly but privately about your preferences and desires for family nourishment. Agree on what you're trying to accomplish with your meal choices.

• Decide on an overall plan vs. variances that can be in an individual meal. Maybe fast food is OK once in a while but not four times per week.

• Take turns if need be, agreeing to expose the child to various kinds of food, including "healthy" vs. "unhealthy," or food that you grew up with as a child.

• Monitor your own consumption and consider what you are modeling for your child.

• Be willing to try new recipes to satisfy your own taste buds and develop theirs.

On that last point, I wish I had learned then how to prepare tasty vegetables rather than heating up a can. My kids might have cultivated a love of vegetables before they reached adulthood.