Unison Parenting Blog: The Hardest Thing You'll Ever Do

"Parenting is the hardest thing you’ll ever do, and there are very high levels of stress and fatigue, especially in the parents of young children."

Dr. Maggi Smeal, a pediatrician at Stanford Medicine Children’s Health, said this in response to the findings of a 2023 Pew Research study. Nearly two-thirds of the respondents said being a parent has been at least somewhat harder than they expected, about 41% said that being a parent is tiring, and 29% said it is stressful all or most of the time.

Well, no wonder, right? Few endeavors in life make you so responsible for another person's growth and well-being, and few come with such criticism of your performance.

Allen Sabey,  a family therapist at the Family Institute at Northwestern University, said, "The main challenge for parents is our siloed independent nature sometimes, and so we want to find people who we trust and kind of work towards being more vulnerable and open with. To where it’s like not just you and your kid, but it’s a kind of a group of people caring and working together."

While finding your support from other parents is a great idea, I would submit to start with your parenting partners. Getting in unison on how to raise your child will address some of the stress. Being supportive of each other, even when you inevitably make mistakes, generates warmth instead of hot stress.

I believe parenting partners must call each other into account, but accountability should take place gently and privately. You're on the same team. Teamwork means egos must be suppressed, the good of the child is primary, and you look together for creative solutions to the issues you face.

Applaud each other for the little successes. Find moments of enjoyment throughout the day. Lean on each other, and bring in others who can model good parenting or provide support. And seek advice from various sources; I'll mention my book, "Unison Parenting," as one such source.

You CAN do hard things, like parenting!