Unison Parenting Blog: You're Gonna Make Mistakes

Watching a Facebook video by Russell J. Ledet, an Indiana University pediatrician and psychiatrist, I was reminded to tell you parents this message: You're not going to be a perfect parent with perfect kids. You're going to make mistakes.

I've written and said that if I were the perfect parent with perfect kids, no one could relate to me. Luckily(?), I'm not. I have great adult children, and they would say I am a great father. They also have a long list of complaints about parenting decisions I made.

Both things can be true: Adept parent, colossal mistakes.

Ledet says in his video, "Give yourself some grace. You are not the full totality of what your child will become. Sometimes, as parents, we beat ourselves up way too much. . .We convince ourselves that one hard moment means we are failing as parents."

I worry more about the parents who worry too little than I do about the ones who worry too much about their own parenting. Such concern means they realize they're not perfect. It means they care. It means they want to know better so they can do better.

But I don't want you worrying too much either about either the short run or the long term. As Ledet says, "Parenting is one of the toughest hoods in the world. You're gonna have to give yourself some grace. . .You do not have to be a perfect parent to be a powerful parent."

That's why we need our fellow parenting partners to keep us accountable. Sure, I want you gently pointing out when you each get off track. But gently. Remind each other of where you want to be, how you fell short today, how you can do better tomorrow, how you WILL do better tomorrow.